Time for the change over

So it's the last day of this year and I am glad to see it leave.  It's been horrid.  I already said I don't normally buy in to the whole new year thing, it's all just time the same as the rest but I am using this as a line in the sand.  I have already made the odd few changes and have been gearing myself up for this instead of trying to just change in one night.  And the changes are not all going to be happening in the morning, they will be over time.

I already have a comeback burlesque act idea and have been working it over in my head last night.  I think I have a track blend picked out and some costume thoughts.  It involves a lot of glitter and starts by me shedding off regular, everyday clothing to become 'shiny' again.  I have also had a more deep and somber act in mind about picking up the broken parts to rebuild yourself.  The act I was working on before I fell apart is still there on the back burner too, that is about being built back up by people who care about you after cunts knocked you down.  I hope to hit the stage for my next show in February.

I got on the scales and as of the final day of 2016 I am 14st 10.6lbs.  Very bad to say I am only 5ft tall.  I don't feel like me when I look at myself and it's all the depression through the year that has done this to me.  Well it can just turn around a fuck right off.

I am only going to get on the scales once a month, I am not after a fast loss, just as long as it goes away and I start to feel like I'm in my own body again.  I am used to being at around 10 - 11 st and would like to be a bit less, I would like to be more around the 8 - 9 st mark.  I have been there before and felt very light and nimble, I liked it and it would be nice to get back there eventually but I don't realistically feel like that will happen.  Just to be back how I have been most of my life would be great at this point though.