It's almost 2018

Well, I didn't keep up to this very well did I? At least not to keeping the blog posts going. I did keep up with doing the things I set out to do and this year has been pretty damn good.

I decided to leave the burlesque world in the end. It was causing me more of a headache than it was making me happy. I felt so much better once I dropped it and feel like it was the right choice.

I finally had my brows inked on and I have a big chunk of money for my eyeliner doing too. I didn't have my other tattoos finished but I have my new family one on my forearm and it's amazing. I have lost about a stone over the year which has stayed away. I started at the gym and was loving it til some shit kicked off and made me feel uncomfortable going there. I finished the hallway and did quite a lot of clearing out. I need to make a renewed effort really on getting rid of stuff. So much crap I don't need it's crazy. We have a big dehumidifier in the cellar too now but my wall patchwork hasn't all held up too well.

I can't quiet have a clear out at the moment because we have Rachel and Casey with us. Her stuff is all over and stashed in the cellar and in the small room upstairs so I can't get to everything. I do have a bit of a list for this year though.


Reduce use of throw away plastics.

Reduce general waste.

Have a more extensive clear out of the whole house.

Finish fixing up the cellar for storage.

At least give the Crossfit gym a go and try to lose at least another stone.

Create my farmhouse kitchen and steampunk bedroom.

Make my hygge inspired living room once Rachel has moved out, although these 3 big decor projects might be restricted by funds.

Try to find a small job. I had one this year which was a goal but it was the most boring job I have ever known in my life.


I have been embracing hygge which has helped with the winter blues a lot. I have done very well with depression this year and have very successfully dealt with a couple of bad patches so I'm really happy with that.

I think I will leave this here for now and go look at my bucket list and maybe a zero waste blog.

February End Post

From 14st 10.6lb down to 14st 4.6lb so that is 6lb off this month.  Not bad at all to say I still felt like I was struggling to eat well or get activity in.  I took back to the slimming world way on my own, I don't want to join the club when I know how the plan works.  I just need to try and stick with the plan a bit better but it's hard when this month we really do have no money.  It's a case of eating what we have in and a lot of the slimming world friendly stuff is really dwindling right down.  We haven't been this short on money for a very long time and it's a bit crazy.  Still got two weeks to pay day and it will be a short wage with the short month and a sick day.  Had to pay for MOT and work on the car.  Managed o sort out some of the bills I had too that were bothering me so that is mostly out of the way.


So I wrote that first bit a week ago and didn't get much chance to finish it, so here goes.

I have done a couple of bit towards burlesque, helped at another show and sorted out my next one.  I have started setting up some more charity events but need to do more to sorting them out.  I really need to get on with those.  And my YouTube channel has had some TLC and now has 2 new videos, has gained a few more subs and now has an intagram and twitter to itself.  Got those set up so they post to each other and to the fb page too.  Hope these are going to help make t grow over time even though they are not really doing anything right now.  I will just keep posting to them for now.

Not sure what else to write about for now so I will just update if I think of anything else.

January end post

A couple of days late on this one but never mind.

I am still the same weight as before but it's not really a surprise.  My eating has got better than before and I am still doing more than I was before but I have had more treats than I should so it's no shock.  This year is about a lot more than just weight though and it's a marathon not a sprint.  I am going to finally clear enough room for the treadmill so I can take regular walks inside and I will try harder on cutting out the extra snack stuff I really don't need.

I have made good progress at clearing out the house but there is still a lot more to do.  I have cleared a lot of the cellar and patched up the holes.  I just need to clear out some more of it and cover the patched holes with some plaster.  I was buying a dehumidifier on Ebay but they took it off sale.  I am wanting to get the ladder out and get up in the loft soon, see if there is anything I can do with it for extra storage.  I have cleared out the old wardrobe so it's just cutting it up and making shelving with it in the small room.  That will make a lot extra space in the rest of the house if I can stack all our crap in boxes in there.  I am going to see about a regular table top sale at the club so we can make a few extra pennies and get rid of some of our unwanted stuff.

I have been working on setting up the burlesque show and it's mostly sorted now, as is my little boys birthday party for this Sunday.  I have a fog machine and bubble machine like I wanted and there is not that much left to do on either event now really.  Just more music downloading I think and then buy a few things for the buffet for the party and few bits for the show.  I need to find a way of making some money for the company to get a banner printed up for the back of the stage.  I have tote bags that just need the transfer logos putting on to sell, might have a raffle for the company too for a bit extra.

The sex life has sprung in to some major action as well.  Not going to go in to detail on here but stuff is happening that didn't really happen before and I like it.  Taken a different turn to how we tried things before.  It's interesting.

I am happy with how things are going so far this year so far, t might be slow progress but I am moving forward in getting things done that I want to get sorted.

The only thing that I have been upset about really is the letters asking for money.  I am fine with the old Ann Summers one and the private car park one.  I know I technically should owe it but I don't feel that I do.  The parking tickets were issued to me in their error and I have told them that.  I really don't think they are taking it forward and Ann Summers really aren't.  That is 4 years ago I tried to give them the kit back and they refused it.  It's their fault and their problem.  It's the council ones that bother me as they can be enforced.  The allotment that I got too ill to use is meant to be paid for anyway and the parking tickets for parking on my own street where I'm meant to, they said I contested it too late even though it is where I have the right to park.  I took longer contesting those because I was ill and I am meant to park there.  I need to try and sort it out or just pay them but it's hard to pay for things you shouldn't even owe, especially when you don't have any money to pay it with.  Not sure if I should talk to someone about it.

I still need to do more with my youtube channel but I will get some more done as the feeling takes me for that one.  I have some subjects I want to cover so it's on the way.

I have actually done some stuff

I wasn't sure I would end up really making any changes or doing anything yet but I have.  I burned the old year by way of chopping up and burning our Christmas tree over the new year night.  Yesterday, before the burning of 2016, I went out on my own for a Pokemon walk, today I have felt in very high spirits and have started to make a new video for my Holy Creep Sauce Youtube channel.  Then we went out on our new bikes for a family ride which I really enjoyed.  I have actually had my bike for a while but it's the first time I have been out on it and I loved the feeling of being back on the saddle again.

I wasn't going to be doing another post on here for probably a month but I am that happy with how I feel today and what I have been doing already I just had to put it in to words.

Time for the change over

So it's the last day of this year and I am glad to see it leave.  It's been horrid.  I already said I don't normally buy in to the whole new year thing, it's all just time the same as the rest but I am using this as a line in the sand.  I have already made the odd few changes and have been gearing myself up for this instead of trying to just change in one night.  And the changes are not all going to be happening in the morning, they will be over time.

I already have a comeback burlesque act idea and have been working it over in my head last night.  I think I have a track blend picked out and some costume thoughts.  It involves a lot of glitter and starts by me shedding off regular, everyday clothing to become 'shiny' again.  I have also had a more deep and somber act in mind about picking up the broken parts to rebuild yourself.  The act I was working on before I fell apart is still there on the back burner too, that is about being built back up by people who care about you after cunts knocked you down.  I hope to hit the stage for my next show in February.

I got on the scales and as of the final day of 2016 I am 14st 10.6lbs.  Very bad to say I am only 5ft tall.  I don't feel like me when I look at myself and it's all the depression through the year that has done this to me.  Well it can just turn around a fuck right off.

I am only going to get on the scales once a month, I am not after a fast loss, just as long as it goes away and I start to feel like I'm in my own body again.  I am used to being at around 10 - 11 st and would like to be a bit less, I would like to be more around the 8 - 9 st mark.  I have been there before and felt very light and nimble, I liked it and it would be nice to get back there eventually but I don't realistically feel like that will happen.  Just to be back how I have been most of my life would be great at this point though.

Got me some vinyl :)

I just ordered my first bit of vinyl this evening (I have a few but only one I really like).  I have bought The Birthday Party LP Prayers on Fire.  Can't wait to get it.

I have also found some vegan cheese that is almost like cheese.  It's nothing like the stuff I used to get when I was vegan and this might help me with cutting down on my dairy intake.  I am going to get dairy free mayo tomorrow, I know you can't tell the difference with that, I always liked it before.  I have had quite a bit of chocolate earlier with my little boy but general eating has not been to bad actually.  I have been eating actual food and not all rubbish and my water intake has been pretty good.

As well as that I have found a woman who does the semi permanent eyebrow tattoos at a price I should be able to afford shortly.  A girl I know won a competition to have hers done for free (jammy sod she is) and they look wonderful.  Oh to just have eyebrows.

I am all set up to start going to a dance class with a friend as well starting on Tuesday evening.

Not even got to 2017 yet and the changes are coming thick and fast :)

Early change and more ideas

I said I don't really believe in resolutions for the new year and I'm still going with that.  I have started to make some small changes and moves in the direction I want to go in already.  I have decided I really need to reconnect with music too which I am making a bit of a start with.  I plan to start a proper vinyl collection too.  All my music has always been on tape when I was younger then CD and on to MP3 in recent years but I love vinyl.  I have very few records and they are not ones I really love, this has to change.

I have started on booking my burlesque show dates for the full year and am doing all of them for charity.  Last year I did 4 shows but I am upping the game to 8 this year and I have re-branded with a new logo I made myself and I love it and a blog site.  I am going to get more organised and set things for the shows up in advance as well as doing some proper promotional work.  I will make a good name in burlesque even if it kills me.

I have started to change a few things that I eat.  I lost a lot without even trying when I turned vegan.  I was vegan for 3 years and had never been so healthy...until the cheese found me.  So I have changed to vegan alternatives for butter and milk so far and am drinking more fruit tea in place of regular tea.  I am still not eating that well but little bits at a time will get me there.

I really want to say I will start work on a book as well but I am already setting myself a lot to think about and do.  My lovely friend wrote a book which was published a while back and I have finally got a copy of it.  I have always wanted to write a book and it's given me the urge again now I am reading Julia's book.  I was not bad with creative writing and should really have a bash at something.  Even a few short stories to put together would be amazing.

I really need to be going to bed now.  It's 3 in the morning and I'm sat typing and listening to PJ Harvey.  Best get a bit a spatchka.